So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
