How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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