you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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