hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
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