i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Randomize
