remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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