I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
