wakey wakey hands off snakey
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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