I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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