you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
