omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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