Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
