I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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