You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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