I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
