wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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