making cat noises will not fix the situation.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
