Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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