So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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