Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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