dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
