She is in my trunk
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Randomize
