i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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