I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
