Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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