toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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