so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize