2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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