my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
