The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
