I'm gonna have a badass scar
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
foreskin is a definite game changer
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize