There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
