She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
