why didn't you poke me back
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize