I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Randomize
