Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
