The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
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