The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
