My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
barbara walters just said penis...
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Randomize
