then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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