great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
