I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
