Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
My first STD was from a foam party
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
