You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Randomize
