He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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