Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
