I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
