I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I would fuck him just for his dog
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
