Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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