Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
