Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
