i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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