apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
