The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Randomize
