I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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