i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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