already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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