I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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