This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
