oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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