I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
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