oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
it's like heaven, but drunker
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
