I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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