I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I need to sanitize my soul.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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