Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
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Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
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