kristin has been a bad kristin
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
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We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
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Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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