Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
