so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
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I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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