Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
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